“Liked”

In keeping with the "I don't know very much" style of leadership, I think I want to be liked. Let me rephrase that. I want to be liked for everything I say, decide, or do. I want to be that sort of leader whom the followers (or in this case, participants) swoon in and love. You want to be that person who for months afterward, they sing your praises and tell people how you make such great decisions, or lead with such authority, or was just so fun, that they could not imagine being away from me. Now, let's move away form the narcissistic day-dream of self-infatuation and talk about the truth…

Despite the vivid and drool image pasted above, the reality of this desire is muddled and unclear. In short, it is nonexistent. All it does is tell you have high-hopes that seem to fanciful, and less real. And in truth, that is exactly what that is.

I've led three times (yes, I am chiming on that note again) this past year and I seem to still be learning lessons, six to thirteen months later. Aside from making unpopular decisions, being a stickler, and probably far too serious, I think, actually, I know, there were times, I was really unpopular, disliked even; possibly resented? Well, before you have a pity party for me, and allow me to join in, I've had to come to realization that has forced me to grow-up. I was going to make decisions based on convictions, which were divergent from the comfort level presented. It was a natural progression. 

Now you don't lose credit after the first offense, unless it was something they had their hearts set on like choices about rest-day activities or what types of food we would have for our diet. If you don't break this cardinal rule, then you're golden until the next offense. Oh yeah, those are always fun topics to engage in and making a decision in light of funds, timing, or health, are usually frowned upon. This was something I had not expected. I mean, I expected to loved and adored. What a pipe dream I lived in! 

I say all this because I had to come down to reality. I wasn't always liked, even now, I am not. It is rough. I guess that is what happens when lead, not everyone is going to be happy with the decision, choices, or even the way you lead. It is hard to actualize this. I made decisions for the betterment of the team, not necessarily individual preference. 

We get conditioned to be people of preference. Being liked is a way to say you are preferred. When you are not liked, you are not preferred. The opposite of like is dislike or to a deeper level, hated. And no one wants to be hated unless you are purposefully provoking, then you probably want to be hated. 

Yet this takes us back to Leadership 101: You didn't do this to be liked. Even as I sit here, that still is hard. I lead and I will be unpopular at times. I think the true test is when you are disliked, not preferred, unpopular, or even, hated, how will you lead?