This is a post that I have been thinking about for the past three-four months, yet could seem to articulate what I wanted to say. I’ve started many different times, and still I have found nothing that can truly communicate the weight or the heart of what I want to say. What I have written today is the product of months and hours of contemplation; much of it I feel is an embodiment of, well, me. Still there are areas that I feel are lacking. The only reason it is written is that I cannot delay the inevitable, it must be said. So without, further adieu, here is that selection of my thoughts, on my transition to Gainesville.

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Simply stated, I cannot go home. Theoretically, I am home, in body, soul, and spirit, but literally, I cannot make this my resting place. This cannot be a place where I land and then I never move around, for intensive purposes, I get comfortable and complacent. As harsh as it may sound, this is why I cannot make Port Huron, Michigan, my place of solitude and rest. Familiarity breeds contentment, and that is a cycle that I cannot find myself caught up in; for it is truly, self-defeating and self-deprecating. That means, it will ultimately kill me, and I’m not just talking physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. 

…Nick Hindes cannot find himself in a place where he is comfortable, where complacency and procrastination dictate his life. The truth is Gainesville, Georgia, can also be similar place where contentment sets in and I am all right with the status quo and would be fine doing the mundane. I cannot commit myself to a slow death, of not only a meaningless existence, but also a life devoid of purpose and reason. How terrible it would be to forsake logic and reason! To give up our ability to think, ponder, and diligently question, what a fruitless life that would be.

I say this because I am still not sure what the end game for me will be in three years, I’ll be honest about that. I just know that I am in a place where I feel like I am going in the right direction and am not going to stay put, watching the lights go by, and watching for my ship to come to port. I am ready and seeking a cause worth giving my life for; yes, this would be a cause to die for. Scary and quite possibly morbid, but it has purpose and a great deal of potential. That sounds more interesting than the day in day, menial and banal, really, the mundane; life-without purpose. 

So unlike the motto and the subsequent Sufyan Stevens album, I cannot say yes to Michigan. For this time I must say no and continue on the path that I am called to walk down and look for the scent of something that I can give myself for.