*Read Part 1 of Returning whence I came...

Hesitation clouds my mind, muddles the concentration. What are these thoughts? She is talking to me; still I am distracted. My mind is elsewhere. It's Wednesday.

Two days and I will be back to a place, all too familiar. Forty-eights hours and counting. Still I feel so conflicted. 

How much longer must I endure?

My fingernails are chipped and cut, such I a nervous set of habits I have developed. Again, these eyes sting from rapid, consecutive blinking. Stress is present on my face and has riddled my stomach. The words of fear and anxiety are shown in bold Ariel print upon my facial features. 

Hopefully no one will ask.

A flare glistens in my eyes. Did she notice? Unintelligible words mingle around in my mind. She speaks to me. What she utters out of her mouth proceeds as a slow-motion observation, not unlike a car-wreck. I am helpless to escape its fate. The question has been asked.

"What's wrong?"

The all-inquisitive, bare question for which a man cannot remain silent upon it's call nor swiftly avoid. I stammer with these words, nothing sounds as clearly as it did in my mind. They exhibit a certain lack of coherency. All I say is unintelligible to my mind. I guess my heart had other plans.

::Author's Note::

The journey from McGregor to Snyder was a strenuous proliferation of emotional disarray. I have never felt such restlessness over the dismemberment and stagnation of emotions. Times like I find an inability to vocalize any and all of what I feeling. It has become enticing and comfortable for me remain in this sweltering atmosphere. Granted, it becomes obvious there is tension in the line, yet few would wager a closer look toward the cause. It was what I was counting, no one asking any questions.

Luckily for me, Kayla, would never allow such an atrocity to occur. Wisdom and discernment always shed light on areas in need of healing.  I count this as a blessing. I am verbal processor, through and through. When I am able to communicate what I am feeling, I find healing and freedom from that which holds me back.