Today, I started out by reading my daily meditation from On the Threshold of Transformation: Daily Meditations for Men by Richard Rohr and it was the "Vision Quest." This piece of the initiation process where men (really, men) are in the quest for purpose and identity. There is a need for confirmation of purpose and a significance of name. Rohr alludes that spiritual conformation has many similarities to the "tribal vision quest." Here's what he proposed:

"Confirmation in the Christian tradition was supposed to work similarly. It was intended to give us a jolting experience of the indwelling Holy Spirit, and we often chose a name that had spiritual meaning for us at the time. It did not always coincide with finding our life vision, but still it's clear that Christian sacraments built on deep and abiding patterns of initiation.

Many of us still need to go on our vision question and have our soul "confirmed." What many men desire..is an inner vision that tells them where they fit in the world and what they are here to do, something that is often different from what they do to pay the bills."

It's weighty, if you truly allow it to sit on your spirit. Well, just so I don't sound like a guy who is proposing an idea without an example, I would like to share something I wrote over a year ago when I was still at G42. It's personal, yet I feel it embodies the concept presented quite well.

"...sometime, probably about six weeks ago, I was sitting there in class during an exhortation and prophetic release session and I heard the audible-voice of the Spirit. From that day forward, I was told that I am no longer Nick, but Nicholas. Imagine the shock and awe that would have been visible on my face; imagine sitting in a chair, watching others get ministered to and then all of a sudden a calming yet affirming voice tells you that your name is changed from that day forward. Awkward and yet, one of the most amazing moments I have had here at the school.

Let me explain my understand of why I believe my name needs to change. First of all, it has nothing to do with a physical name change, but a mindset; a mindset that can make or break a man. To be the boy who was called Nick or to become the man named Nicholas, is the real paradox to this change. Secondly, the meanings of the name carry with them a spirit about them. Nick means "Victorious," while Nicholas means "Victory of the People." You see there is a difference between personal-private victory, and a group-multiplicity victory. The difference between a selfish ambition and giving all of yourself to see others make it to destiny...

...that is what I want to be. I want to give myself, all of me to a cause bigger than myself and see the Kingdom advanced. I want to be the instrument that brings about the greater purpose; I don't want to die with leftover potential and unfulfilled dreams. I want to give everything that I have and die knowing that everything I was given, I gave it all away. From this day forward, I am stepping into the mantle of Nicholas and stepping out of the cloak of Nick. I am going to be the man that I was meant to be and therefore I will answer to the name of Nicholas. I need to adjust my mindset to the man I am and not the boy, I once was."

Maybe I get it and maybe I don't. Anyway, I'll leave you with the questions Rohr gave today: "Have I heard my real name? What am I here on earth to do?"