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Today, I head to Kenya. A land I left four months ago. Memories tantalize my senses and emotions. 

When I close my eyes, I am back there. I can feel the warm humid atmosphere, entreating my body as sweat beads accumulate on my arms, legs and forehead. I am blinded by the daunting and bold sun, that hangs overhead. I can taste the stale air, the saltiness of the moisture and scratchiness of the dust on the back of my throat. I can hear the rustling of the trees and bushes so dry, who seem to move out of some obligatory notion. I can feel the dust being kicked up as I stomp the ground, the dust clinging firmly to my shoes and legs. When I close my eyes…I am back there.

The phrases of Swahili linger in the air, usually directed toward me, because I am different, because I am white, because I am Mzungu. Habari rolls off my tongue, as if instinctually, the only way I can hello. The few phrases I can speak, like a grade school child, I wear with pride. The little I know, seems to carry more sentiment than years of learning ever could. When I close my eyes…I am back in Kenya.

When I open my eyes, I am here, in the swirling madness of life. The daily race, quests, bullet points, obstacles are all here when my eyes are opened. Yet, I yearn for what I see with my eyes closed. I long to have my eyes look upon what memories have impressed upon my heart.

5 responses to “When I close my eyes…”

  1. Praying for you as you lead debrief with teams Kenya and Uganda. Every time you go back you will encounter something new. Pray it will be a refreshing time to challenge and encourage.

  2. Have a great time of debriefs and connecting with wonderful Kenya friends! Love ya!

  3. one more time son, this is your voice, your gift…

    love ya, have a great debrief and travel boldly.

    pop

  4. Love this Nick! I am right there with you. “Yet, I yearn for what I see with my eyes closed. I long to have my eyes look upon what memories have impressed upon my heart.” Totally describes my heart for Kenya/Africa and our time there. I think of it daily and with a passion filled heartbeat. AMAZING. Love you brother!

  5. God bless you man, that’s so amazing that you are already back even if just for a little bit. I feel that too, when I close my eyes in reflection I see far more clearly than during the brightest day.